Why married men flirt

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Safarigirl cuts it off, but still he pursues. Because he's, you know, a rabid hyena. There are two kinds of married guys: married guys who flirt and married guys who don't. Married guys who never flirt are a freaking mystery to me. They're like monks or something. They're wired differently from me. I respect them tremendously, but I do not envy them. On the other hand, guys who are died-in-the-wool flirts will always flirt, even when they're married.

That doesn't necessarily mean they're going to act on that flirtation. It just means they like it. And if they've sworn off flirting, it means they're subverting their flirt impulse. And they're miserable. I'm a flirt. I have always been a flirt. Maybe if I had more self-esteem or something I wouldn't need to do it, but the fact is I love it. Nothing racy. No physical contact. I just like having flirty conversations—playful ones, not overtly sexual or anything.

My wife knows about it, and at first she really hated it. But now she just knows it's who I am. And she remembered that's why she liked me in the first place and that I will never change, and that she's the person I like flirting with the most and am committed to entirely.

He's married, and those conversations are meant for his wife. He Texts You All the Time. A text here and there might be innocent, especially if the content is dealing with things that do not include just you two; but if the texts are coming in all day and night and the messages are intimate and of his personal life, then he is probably flirting with you.

He Focuses On You. He should be focusing on his wife, not you. There could be people, including his wife, in the middle of a party, and his attention is only on you.

He doesn't look away when he talks, he holds that eye contact, he listens to you intently, and you might find him leaning in and asking, "What did you say? Signs a single or married man is flirting can be observed by proximity and physical contact. The majority of married men flirt to feed their desire of being wanted. Even though he's married, he wants confirmation that he's still attractive, not just within his married life. He wants and needs a boost to his self-esteem, ego, and confidence.

It may be that he doesn't feel wanted or desired by his wife. Or, maybe his wife does express her attractiveness toward him, and yet he still has a desire to be wanted despite being a married man.

One reason could be because he felt rejected in a past relationship or as a child, and he hasn't dealt with it. Studies show that our brains deal with social pain in the same ways it deals with physical pain.

In other words, we hurt when we feel rejected or not accepted, and maybe he's needing an overload of needing to feel desired to compensate for his lack thereof in a single or married status.

This is similar to his need to feel wanted. He might not be receiving the attention and intimacy that he once had with his wife. There could be several reasons why, including the mere fact that life is busy and full of responsibilities, kids, work, and as a result, the attention to the marriage has taken a step back. The spice and thrill of the early days after the honeymoon might have fizzled into more of a partnership than a marriage, and he's looking to fill that void through flirting as a married man.

Men like the thrill of the chase. The lure of the unattainable, excitement of something new and risky. This is especially true if his marriage is in a doldrum. What was once a hot full sprint pursuit after his wife has become a sluggish gait at best; and in needing that "high" of the chase, he's looking to flirt with other women. Similar to the thrill of the chase, some married men flirt because it's risky; they know it's wrong and dangerous and could have dire consequences if they get caught.

And that's where the excitement comes in. The fact that it's bad and dishonest is the very reason he's doing it. It can excite and arouse him. The inclination to take high risks may be hard-wired into the brain, intimately linked to arousal and pleasure mechanisms, and may offer such a thrill that it functions like an addiction. If a married man feels a lack of intimacy in his marriage or a lack of desire from his wife, or if the marriage is just in a holding pattern and he feels disconnected, he may resort to manipulative measures to get what he wants.

In this instance, the married man will flirt with another woman within eyeshot of his wife. He wants her to see him flirting. That's the sole purpose: flirt with another woman to make his wife jealous and insecure so that she will overcompensate and fill his needs. This form of flirtation does not display how this married man is attracted to the woman. It does not display how this married man is dedicated to his married life.

People who manipulate, influence, and control others through the use of mental and emotional exploitation intend to have power and control over you to get what they want. Manipulation is not only wrong and destructive to married people, but it is emotional abuse and should be dealt with. Some married men flirt to have sex. Although the majority of reasons men flirt have no sexual intention behind it, some married men flirt with the sole purpose of having sex.

It's a combination of other flirtatious reasons that fuel this one: it's risky, and it's the thrill of the chase; in fact, him flirting with jumping in bed with another woman might have absolutely nothing to do with sex. His married life sex life with his wife might be great, and yet he'll still flirt with another woman to fulfill that risk, thrill, and flirtation.

Having a married man flirt with you is never good. His intentions behind the flirting more likely have nothing to do with you and everything to do with him-he lacks feeling desired, his married life lacks intimacy, he gets high off the thrill of the chase, he loves that it's risky, he's using you to make his wife jealous, he wants to have sex with you. Everything behind the flirtation is for his benefit; in fact, you could go as far as saying that there's a dash of manipulation with his intentions.

He wants something, and he's flirting to get it. He might tell you every wonderful thing you want to hear: how beautiful you are, how he loves your smile and your cute laugh, how his marriage is dead anyway. Ask yourself this: If his wife was you, would you want him flirting with another woman? Do you want to break apart married couples only to have him go back to his wife after he used you for his gratification?

Flirting can lead to emotional and physical infidelity and as a result, can be one of the most destructive things to married couples. It can undermine trust and crumble the foundation of the relationship.

If you find yourself in this situation with a married man, what steps can you take?